We Are Bound By Symmetry

Bit 10
Rock bottom in Mel's Story. I've been watching too much 'Intervention'

I know that feeling, that feeling that's behind his skin. Right about now the whole room just got fifty times smaller, and in a few moments all he'll be able to hear is his heart beating and he won't be able to breathe evenly. I've felt that before dozens of times because I've seen a lot of scary shit. Shit you wouldn't believe. Now my brother's seeing it, too.

"Mel. Put that fucking needle down." Afton's face was blank with this really frightening mixture of shock and disgust.

I had my palms pressed against my temples, the slick tip of a needle slicing ever so gently into my forehead. Yeah, it's kind of messed up, but that dissection, the splitting of my skin puts everything into such a pleasant perspective. It's like when you're a little kid and you get to lick the icing off the bottom of all the candles on your birthday cake. Because it's your birthday, and those are your candles.
Afton doesn't get it.

"You can't understand, Afton. There's - there's a pressure, in the back of my skull and it just builds and builds until I can't see anymore. And this shit gives me sight! It let's me live. It gives - "

"It is going to kill your unborn child. Jesus, do you hear? Did you hear the words that I just said? YOUR UNBORN CHILD. This isn't about you. How you feel, what you want. It's about someone else now. Jesus Christ." Afton started crying and I could see all of our memories dripping down his nose.

"I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. But I need it, alright? I mean I think after this one time, then I could probably stop. But just this one more time." I was getting a little disgusted with myself as well, but it wasn't really me talking at this point. My mouth tasted salty and I realized I was crying, too.

"Melanie. Come the fuck on. Seriously? This is where we are? I mean look at yourself -" Afton grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me in front of the mirror above the dresser.
"That's YOU, Mel. That mess is what is now you. It isn't the drug, this is who you've become." Afton could hardly speak, but he was getting angrier. I couldn't see myself like he wanted me to, the pressure was in the way. Like when you smear your glasses and everything is just a runny mixture of colors. But I could taste my tears.

"Go ahead and fuck up your life, if that's what you want. But at least -" Afton had to take a second to breathe because he was so upset "at least be fair to that baby. I'll turn you in if I have to, Mel. If that's what it takes to make you save your own God Forsaken child, I'll turn you right over. Just fucking think for a second. Quit "feeling" and think."
He grabbed my hands and pressed them against my own belly with him sobbing into the back of my hair.
Ezra started kicking.


Everything changed right then.