We Are Bound By Symmetry

Bit 8

I kicked at the floorboards, staring at that ridiculous metal chair.
I was thinking of some sort of asshole comment I could make, but then I realized how much I didn't actually want to do that. What I want is to feel an entire emotion. Have the whole length of it run through me all at once, like these people. As much as she fucking annoys me, I'm jealous of Freida. And the only thing standing in my way is my damn pride.
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyelids.

"You... you took everything from me. I trusted you to take away the pain, and you slowly dug under my skin, got into my brain. I fucking trusted you. And now I've lost my life. My love. My goddamn baby."
The whole class sat perfectly still, watching my every movement. I guess I was sobbing, but I couldn't hear it.
I've never talked about them taking my daughter before.

"Those people came and all you had for me was your high. And my kid can't eat that. She can't sleep on it. So - so - so I don't get to have her. August was mine, she was all of my love, all of my hope and my heart and my bones and my blood. She was completely mine, and YOU TOOK HER AWAY!" I spat at that fucking chair. That god damn chair.


"And that's not enough. You've gotta destroy me, too. But there's nothing left of me, so I guess you can just have my skin. Take the blown veins in my arm, take the shitty clothes I have, take the emptiness that I feel all of the fucking time. See what good it does you."